Wanted: Mentor

I've realized something recently, and I don't like it one teensy weensy little bit. I have Youngest Child Syndrome, and it doesn't work as you approach 40. You're used to always being around older people, observing what they do, and making decisions based on what worked or didn't work for them.

One day, you wake up and realize that not only is every professional athlete younger than you are, half the world is, too. At the same time, you realize that the people older than you don't really know as much as you thought they did. In fact, I'd say one's relationship with the outside world goes something like this:

Ages 0-10: Wah!
Teens: Where are the Cheetos?
20s: The world is so screwed. Why are people so stupid?
30s: Whoops. Things are complicated. There's a reason things are the way they are. I sympathize with people.
Your 40s: William Goldman was right. Nobody knows anything. What now?

This is why I've decided to advertise for a mentor. You learn in developing screenplays that every main character/hero must have one. Yoda. The dude in Karate Kid. The guiding force. Wisdom personified. I already have the "romantic interest." I have plenty of "drinking buddies." I suppose I have a few "antagonists."

I need to complete my character arc. Help me, Obi Wan. You're my only hope.