Monday, July 23, 2007

Thoughtapalooza

"Plate" is not a verb. You cannot "plate" my meal any more than I can "Visa" your bill.

Medellin will turn out to suck. I'll bet you $20. E is never wrong.

As of today, Dunn Bros. coffee is still the world's finest legal drug.

My four-year-old son is the sweetest, most arrogant person I know.

If conservatives think we should put people in charge of government who don't believe in government, then I await the day when ExxonMobile hires the head of Greenpeace as its new CEO.

Some people rented hotel rooms just to be able to read the new Harry Potter book in one quiet sitting. I'm not sure if this is a sign of sickness or hope.

If you actually believe the Earth is 6,000 years old, how do you explain the petroleum-based product that runs your SUV?

Halogen lighting is more aesthetically pleasing than standard lighting. It sucks that it uses way more energy.

The moral line on sex should be consent, not sexual preference.

I have heard many fundamentalist and evangelical Christians decry homosexuality. I have never heard one rail against rape.

Jon Stewart looks frighteningly ashen without makeup.

We have reached the point where a name like "Wolf Blitzer" no longer shocks anybody.

There are no mosquitoes in Minnesota this year. Are they in a suicide pact with the bees?

Racquetball is due for a comeback. It needs a new name, a fluorescent court, and a movie starring Will Ferrell.

Is glue really made from horses?

If Al Gore's motivation is money, why didn't he become an energy industry lobbyist?

Bright Eyes is a horrible name for a fabulous band.

I don't know about that Fred Thompson. He's so... ambitious.

The most dangerous country to America is still Pakistan.

I can only express anger to inanimate objects, and their passive resistance infuriates me.

5 comments:

The Wordman said...
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The Wordman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Wordman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Wordman said...

>Some people rented hotel rooms
>just to be able to read the
>new Harry Potter book
>in one quiet sitting.

my new favorite website: The Book Spoiler -- http://www.thebookspoiler.com/Spoilers/harrypotter7.html
there, I just saved you hours of your life and $34.99.

>If you actually believe the Earth
>is 6,000 years old, how do you
>explain the petroleum-based
>product that runs your SUV?

don't you know that Noah's flood spewed up all sorts of wonderful chemicals that lodged in pockets underground (turning into oil), as well as coating all the fossil layers so that they would *look* like they were billions of years old? c'mon, it's all there in the bible -- you obviously lack sufficient intellectual humility to be a good Christian/Jew/Muslim/ Buddhist/Mormon/Scientologist....

Stephen Dashboard said...

Dunn Bros is amazing. I see people with Starbucks or Caribou, and I'm like, dude, it's actually a bit cheaper and vastly superior to what you're drinking. My fav morning ritual is the walk over to the skyway Dunn Bros for a cuppa full city roast... Ahhhh...