Tuesday, March 25, 2008

And the Iggy Goes to...

After a long hiatus, the Committee on Spectacular Achievements in Profound Ignorance has located a new Iggy Award winner. Unlike the Iggies before it, this one is not being bestowed upon an individual, but rather, a website and its accompanying billboard media buy. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you globalclimatescam.com.

(But I won't link to it.)

In bestowing the award, the Committee stated the following:

* * *

"Here you have an issue that is, at heart, as non-political as they come: A threat to the way of life of the entire human race is being caused, in part or in whole, by the human race itself. This threat is, by definition, the very essence of 'preventable.' Those who study the nuances of this issue every day (as opposed to those who spend their days figuring out creative ways to skirt Do Not Call lists, invent new bank fees or deny health insurance claims) have reached an intellectual consensus not seen since the endorsement of the Theory of Gravity.

"Of the various solutions to the problem, many would have immense residual benefits for America--including cleaner air, less toxic water, and the violent castration of socialist South American dictators and Middle Eastern regimes who directly fund Islamist terrorism.

"And yet, this brave group has emerged from the shadows of pocketbook victimhood to scream, 'Yes to failing crops! Yes to droughts that lead to Sudanese genocide! Yes to funding Wahhabi Islamist training camps! Down with farmers! To hell with innovation! Fuck oxygen! Enrich the petrostates!'

"Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is ignorance."

* * *

In recognizing the new Ignofascists, the Committee took the unusual step of speculating that based on the group's apparent level of respect for science, were it to hear from 99 doctors that it had brain cancer that required immediate radiation and chemotherapy, it would instead follow the advice of the one doctor, schooled in Jamaica, who demanded years of further study.

Congratulations, globalclimatescam.com! You've proven once again the BBS Axiom of Truthfulness:

A position's factuality is inversely proportional to the amount of money at stake in stating it. In other words: The biggest dollars fund the biggest lies.

3 comments:

Dan said...

Is there a statue, or some sort of plaque that accompanies that award? We'd like to put it on our mantle.

-Dan McGrath
Minnesota Majority
(the GlobalClimateScam people)

Anonymous said...

I think Dan the Majority Man means "mantel."

Marc Conklin said...

No, there's no physical award, although I think that's a great idea... some kind of lucite "i." Knowing that you consider the Iggy a badge of honor is kind of a badge of honor. Thanks.