ObserFootballvations

And now, a one-time-only feature on BBS in which I mash-up my football predictions for the only two teams I care about--Notre Dame and the Vikings--with random thoughts and observations from my small world at large.

- Despite Charlie Weis' bristling at the word, this is a "rebuilding" year for ND. With no proven offensive firepower and a brutal first two-thirds of the schedule that includes Georgia Tech, Penn State, Michigan, UCLA, Boston College and USC, we should be reveling in a season with *gasp!* appropriately set expectations.

- Humidity sucks.

- The Vikings will basically be the same team this year that they were last year, with three possible exceptions: Tavaris Jackson will be a little better, Adrian Peterson will give them 25 percent more offense (which will still put them near the bottom of the league), and the secondary will be improved.

- Somebody should come out with a new drinking game: one shot of Goldschlager every time a Republican politician refuses to come out of the closet despite overwhelming evidence that the Grand Designer crafted him gay. (See: Larry Craig)

- ND will exceed expectations in the Saturday opener against Georgia Tech before settling back into a much more difficult reality. Weis' offensive playcalling can only compensate so much for a green quarterback (whoever it is), average running backs and an unknown wide receiver corps.

- It's a profound moment when you pull the last plastic garbage bag out of the Glad box, and then realize it's time to put the box inside the bag. Kind of like the child having to change the parent's diaper.

- If there are stats kept for such things, the Vikings will set a record this year for the highest ratio of defensive to offensive touchdowns.

- If someone were to transcribe actual adult American speech, we would be shocked to realize that we all say "'cuz" and "'n' stuff."

- ND: 6-6, Vikings: 8-8

- Averageosity sucks... 'cuz it's so average 'n' stuff.